French citizenship law n°5: Thou shalt be grateful

In France there's no holiday similar to Thanksgiving, but I am thinking of suggesting one to the French government (with the related day off, of course!) as a special day to celebrate the immigrants' appreciation toward the Universe after their tons of papers have been finally accepted by fussy civil servants.

Today I am being thankful for:
1. waiting only three hours at the prefecture's naturalizations counter (instead of four, the last time)
2. no security agent showed me how to press a button to obtain an order number
3. I've only witnessed one surreal discussion with a civil servant ("- Excuse me, madame, is this the passports counter?" "- Yes". The person goes back to her place and waits some time until her number is displayed; here comes her turn: "- Excusez-moi, I'm here to request the delivery of my first passport". Civil servant: "Oh, for this you have to go to the City Hall, they're the ones in charge with it!"...)
4. I had the chance to be called in during lunch break (when there's only one civil servant active, the two others being out), therefore the three hours of waiting instead of four from point n°1.
5. And finally, because my citizenship request application was accepted, youuuhooo!!!... I didn't get any receipt though, if they lose anything from there, I'm toast!

French citizenship law n°4: Vacation is sacred

Every day now I'm expecting the very last paper (or so I think) I need to complete my already thick folder of legal papers required for the naturalization process, then I can finally go back to the prefecture to submit it to the all merciful State.

It is a paper from my bank (une attestation bancaire) where they should cross their hearts that I have the money I say I have in my accounts to prove my revenue. A bank statement will not do (which I can easily download from my online bank account), the nice civil servant told me last week, so I asked the bank by phone on Friday (I know, I know!...) to find a way so I can get this attestation bancaire ASAP, as the naturalizations applications can only be submitted on Tuesdays and Tuesdays alone (from 8:45am to 3:45pm). And, if possible, to get it before Tuesday, s'il vous plaît! (today, that is)

The bank clerk seemed extremely willing to help and explained that no, I cannot go directly to their office to get the paper I need, they absolutely have to send it to me by regular mail, so they can make sure I didn't delegate my personal Dr. Hide instead of me to get it, thus potentially releasing into the world the information about my extensive fortune (I wish!) and thus violating my precious privacy. Now, after waiting three days for that paper to arrive and it isn't here (unlike the day of Tuesday), I have mixed feelings whether I should praise my bank for being over-cautious with my data or I should be fuming with anger.

French citizenship law n°3: Thou shalt be athletic

I've finally managed to gather all the documents needed to apply for the French naturalization, after spending all the morning copying/printing ad nauseam (they require two copies of each paper) and feeling sorry for myself, for the trees of the world and for my lost time. The result is a folder thick enough to kill someone if by any chance someone will dare to get on my nerves these days - well, except the civil servants in charge with processing it, of course!...

French citizenship law n°2: Thou shalt be very pacient

The second meeting at the Yvelines prefecture just took place, for my French naturalization process, after my first unsuccessful attempt of the last week. I entered the Prefecture full of hope today (technically yesterday: it's past midnight...), at around 11am, proud of myself when I saw that there was nobody waiting in line at the reception desk (wow, the peak time schedule displayed at the entrance and on the internet was actually real! I was impressed...).

I left the prefecture last week deeply hoping that the number dispenser that everybody ignored was actually working and I approached it this time with some sort of nervous anxiety, when a security guard (probably, umm, well... guarding the thing) looked at me with a quizzical brow: "Bonjour, monsieur, I would like to go to the Naturalizations Office, please!". He pressed the corresponding button himself, like suggesting that I was unable to do it on my own, and told me to wait near the counter 39 until my number will show up. 'Now, I didn't know that information, I was too quick to jump on conclusions, there!' I'm thinking, feeling somewhat guilty with too much prejudice... "Merci, Monsieur!" and I take a look at the piece of paper: my number is 997 and there are "only" 29 people before me. Estimated waiting time: 2 hours. Holly sh*t! That doesn't begin well...

French citizenship law n°1: Thou shalt be pacient

This morning, at the prefecture of Yvelines, around 10:45am, in front of a counter with a big sign above reading: "NATURALIZATIONS".

Me: "Bonjour, madame, I would like some information about the French naturalization process"
Public servant: "I'm sorry, we are not in charge with it, please go to the reception desk for further information"
Me: "But there's this sign 'Naturalizations' up here..."
Public servant: "I'm sorry, please go to the reception desk, they will tell you what needs to be done. My colleague and I are not in charge of naturalizations, we are in charge of foreigners."
Me: "But I *am* a foreigner!"
Public servant: "I'm sorry, please go to the reception desk, they will tell you where to find out more information"
Me: "Merci beaucoup, madame !"

At the reception desk, about 30 people in front of me waiting in 2 lines (+ one fast line for parents with children, French citizens and other emergencies), all for the one and only open counter. The two security guards at the fast line are making sure everything flows the right way and are more than happy to answering anyone's questions. 30 minutes later, it's my turn: