Black is the new black

The Reveillon du Jour de l'An is near, aka the New Year's Eve party, and I will try for the occasion to answer the most difficult question in the life of a woman ever invited to a social gathering, since the dawn of humanity. I'm sure the prehistoric women must have asked the same fatidic question to their prehistoric beloved husbands: "Honey, what do you think I should wear to the Paleo-party tonight? The leopard skin or the fox fur?..."

The fact that we as a species haven't changed too much in the latest millennia calls for this special post on what not to wear in France, for which I politely invite the male audience to leave for this once: I have no clothing advice for you, gentlemen, my apologies!

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a French Christmas Carol

Joyeux Noël ! Merry Christmas, my friends!

 



Santa Claus is coming to Versailles

"My beloved child, your kind letter brought me a lot of pleasure. Here I'm sending you my portrait. You see, the postman found me, he's a clever one! I have received a lot of requests. I don't know if I will be able to get you what you wished for. I will try, but I am old and sometimes I can make mistakes. You have to forgive me. Be good, work well, I'm giving you a big kiss! Santa" wrote Françoise Dolto 50 years ago, and the rest is, how they call it, history.

And after all these years Père Noël looks fresher than never, as his about 60 French female assistants can attest with wholehearted enthusiasm. He's amazingly fit too! This year he managed to gather almost 2 million letters from France or abroad, all by himself, to his nice cozy South Western residence in Libourne near Bordeaux where he keeps his headquarters. Yes: there is no North Pole in France, you know it, so the French have chosen a more original approach to the matter, like they do with any matter!

Everyone who ever wrote to Santa in France by December 20 in the last 50 years received a personalized message on a post card, signed by Santa himself. And better, ever since Santa became a fierce Internet buff, you can write him online and go play with his apps.

Here's Santa in Versailles, the suit adorned with fleur-de-lis:

Did you write your letter to Père Noël?

Étrennes or not étrennes, that is the question!

If you live in the average French town, you've lately been solicited by quite a few waves of professionals passing by your apartment or house and asking you to buy 2013 calendars and other (useless) goodies.

The firefighters department especially sent their most beautiful specimens to lure hundreds of female weak minds into potential sin, insensitive to the fact that these are the last days of the year, our last chance to recollection and deep meditation on this year's too often transgressions of the divine laws. "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it" said good 'ol Mr. Oscar Wilde. Who are we to contradict him?...

Santa Claus Is Garbage

Le père Noël est une Ordure, Santa Claus is a Stinker! This provocative title consecrates the most popular Christmas movie in France, winning it the enviable title of cult movie and anointing the actors in it to the rank of movie legends.

A bit of toilet humor, a bit of blunder, caricatural characters and quite a lot of predictability seem to make the ingredients of a French cult movie. At least this is the conclusion after watching this one in particular.

Time Travel to Versailles: December 1912

The Versailles Journal - December 1912

"Unsettling times

The Balkan question catches more than never in our times the attention of the whole world and it stretches out even more every day, extending until anxiety. It's what the universe feels; it's what we all feel: that in a few days it will take such a turn that everyone will know if the outcome is peace or war.

The situations, like we have already expressed it before, are particularly delicate and the conference that will open between the belligerents will come good only with the condition that the allies will not let themselves put off their road and their agreements and that they will firmly rule out every discussion that could divide them.

Europe finds itself divided in two camps.

You like me better rich

And it's time to take your wallet out because this weekend is the Téléthon in France. Even the tiniest association in Versailles (and there are many) organizes various activities meant to raise funds destined to the research for curing rare diseases or help improve the life of patients suffering of these rare diseases. Our complex building's association organized a discovery dance class and a children dance show, but there are concerts, raffles or theatre shows all over Versailles. A great occasion for going out, socializing, and proudly wonder at the talents that your progeniture inherited from yourself and not from your partner.

The association at the origin of the Téléthon, AFM (Association française contre les myopathies) was created by patients and their families as a reaction against the annoying tendency of pharmaceutical industry to only fund the research of the most frequent diseases, more economically profitable due to the number of potential clients. 54 years later, AFM raises almost one hundred million in 30 hours of Téléthon (the record was hit in 2006 with almost 107 million euros), it founded a research center for the genic therapies, Généthon, legally authorized to develop its own drugs, an Institute of Myology, and an institute for stem cell therapy, I-stem. Wow, the power of the civil society!

It's not only the estimated 3 million people carrying those rare diseases, it's the pride of the French nation at stake and a strong feeling against the capitalist pharma-market, so people are generous. Combine it with a tax refund of about 66% and the picture becomes even clearer.

Happy giving!

It ain't over 'till the fat liver sings

Let's talk turkey today, my friends. I mean... duck!... After all those sugary things we've cooked and the chocolate intoxication, it's about time to recompose ourselves and get down to a serious business in France, causing much grief to animal protection associations, but great pleasure to the foodies all around the world. I named here the foie gras, guilty as charged! Vegetarians, please read attentively the following paragraph, it is entirely dedicated to you! And to you, animal protection activists!

The foie gras is a special duck (or goose) liver, obtained by deliberately force-feeding the birds in their latest days of life thus causing it to become excessively fatty until catching various conditions such as the fatty liver disease or hepatitis. Then the birds are politely invited to go to their final destination: the duck, respectively goose heaven, and the result is fat. V*e*r*y fat!
Here ends the paragraph and be warned that if you read what follows, you will do that at your own peril!

Get the party started

If you've missed, like myself, to buy or make your Advent calendar before the 1st of December, know that you can still have time to catch up with every French child in Versailles (hey, I can hear you!!! my childhood is not *that* far away!...) Just go in every shop around and you'll find it packed ad nauseam with Christmas decorations, the special Christmas food section already in place since the beginning of November, and INCREDIBLE DEALS of 5-10% off, Christmas specials! So buy fast! Buy it now! Buy often! Or just simply buy! However, know that I advocate self-control and moderation at this time of the year (at least because I strongly believe that any food that can be stored for more than a month in retail shops has something fishy about it, notably an indecent amount of preservatives which is très bad for your health...)